I've come to realise that the reason I closed the posting of this blog down was because the two sides of me needed to have a meeting.
I had begun this just for my friends, but I soon found out that with blogging, the whole world reads in. Particularly on xanga.
I enjoyed the fact people read me, that I wasn't such a freak and that there were people out there who actually thought like me, and I enjoyed reading people who weren't like me. Different thoughts, different points of view.
And then I realised my private face and my public persona were heading for a head on collision. I couldn't blog about stuff that was too personal, but at the same time, I still felt like the blog was, in some way, still personal.
Perhaps, looking back, that was the reason why I hated those blogging competitions so much. All the times I was nominated, all the times I told people not to. Or if it had already happened, to tell that I didn't want them to vote for me.
In all honesty, I should have. This is afterall, a public blog. And it's not like people aren't going to find this blog anyway. But I still feel like a little bit of me, my inner me, is in this blog. And that perhaps, though my content won't change, I need a new platform, where I know from the outset that I am writing for the masses and not just myself and 5 friends.
And this time, I won't be so adverse to people reading my blogs, people commenting, and people writing me fan mail on what is essentially what I consider to be a repository of daily random thoughts.
At the same time, I realise that my "attitude girl" attitude still hasn't changed. And although I now understand and can and will play by the rules of the game, I still won't respond to people just because they respond to me. RaNDoM Pr0pZ HiT mE BaK! still shits me EVERY SINGLE TIME.
and on xanga, sometimes, I feel it is etiquette here to respond, even if someone says something as meaningless as "wow, beri kool site" and I have to go there and say "hey, glad you liked it." (your site is shite and your grammar is appalling)
That said, each and everyone of you to whom I have subscribed to, I have subscribed to for a reason. The only similarity between many of you is simply this: I like your writings.
and I guess for that to happen, here we go.
http://www.uncunninglinguist.blogspot.com
I will still respond should you write in or comment, but only if I a) have the time b) want to. This is not an insult to any of you, and is in fact a sign of respect. That I don't feel pressured to, but I will be.
and in the meantime, I'll still be commenting in xanga and posting occassional articles as promised.
Love you guys heaps.
silvermyst
uncunninglinguist@gmail.com | 
